A Funny Story – One of the Many Reasons I Left Retail…

This is from a Friday the 13th. At BCBG Max Azria, insdie Dillard’s…

What a day at the store…there are loads of little quirky stories to tell, but this one completely takes the cake!

It’s around 5:30 inside Dillard’s, and not a lot of people are shopping…I have two younger girls in the fitting room when this guy walks up. Let me give you a description of him so you can follow along. The guy was early/mid 20s, about 6 feet tall. He is almost 3 feet across starting at the shoulder to the bottom of the trunk. He’s got skinny bird legs and relatively narrow hips in regard to his breadth on top. He has unkempt frizzy hair, overgrown eyebrows, a gnarly beard, and white crust in the corners of his mouth. (What?! You HAVE to have a clear mental picture…bear with. I’m not done…) He was wearing basketball shorts with a black dandruff covered t-shirt. I forgot to mention he talks barely above a whisper and has glinty eyes…

SO…he wanders over to BCBG and makes a bee line for the dress shop. I greet him and figure he’s with someone, maybe killing time while they’re in a fitting room. So as I approach him, he quickly saunters (oxymoron, I know, I know…) away. He returns about 3 minutes later and goes for one particular dress, all the time looking over his shoulder. I think to myself “if he runs away with the dress, I will chase after him” and I call the camera room to have them help me watch him.

I lay out a barrage of questions to which he has no definite answer…

-Who are you shopping for?
Uh…………..um…………….a friend

-What does she like to do?
What do you mean?

-I mean does she go out, does she stay in, is she a Dallas girl or a Ft Worth girl??
Um, I don’t know……

-How old is she?
…………………..I don’t remember

-Ok, let’s start with the basics…what does she look like?
Um………….well………….she’s about as tall as me……….

-………………………………and?
She’s about a size 14…XL or XXL

-Ok, well, we go up to a size L or a 12 here, so we don’t really have anything that’s going to fit her. Have you looked at Aria? Or maybe Torrid?
……………………….What about a dress?……………Like this one….it’s stretchy.

-That’s a medium, and that’s all we have, you might try Lane Bryant, even.
………………..oh. What about a skirt?

-Same thing, I mean, if she’s a 14 or bigger, nothing we have is going to fit her. You probably need to go to the Dillard’s Woman’s World section or to a dress shop if that’s what you are set on getting for her, ya know?

(Mind you, all this time he is getting closer to me and I am moving farther away. I called the camera room again and they are sending a Dillard’s manager over while they wait for the on duty officer to finish up with another issue)

-So, do you want me to show you the Dillard’s plus size section? I will take you over there.
……………….(checking texts on the phone)………………………..

-………………………………………………………(me crossing my arms)………………
………………………………………..Can I tell you something? (takes a step toward me)

-(taking a step back) Yes, what is it?
…………………………………..um……………………….I’m shopping for me.

-……………………(shock….shock…shock…trying to keep it together)……..Ok, well, like I keep telling you – we don’t have anything in your size. I’m really sorry, but we just don’t.
Can I just try on one dress?

-No honey – I’m sorry…we just don’t have anything to fit you.
What about a skirt? I’m a 36 in mens

-No, we go up to a 12 in women’s size, which is probably about a 34 in mens. I’m really sorry. You probably need to go online or to a plus sized store.

(Now, and JUST now, did that Dillard’s manager arrive)

Oh…………..ok…………well, thanks.
-No worries, man. See you around.

What a damn day!!

It’s THAT Kind of Moment – Yet Another Reason I Left Retail

It’s really not…

Customer: Can I get this in a small? It’s a little tight, and I don’t want EVERYthing to show.

Me: That’s a tank dress, and its actually for layering, so it should fit snugly.

Customer: So what do I put underneath it?

Me: This IS the underneath, you can throw this over it, or this…(showing various tops/sheer dresses)

Customer: (rudely inturrupts) Never mind. I’ll take these. I have an awesome body, and I can wear them by themselves.

Two days later…she comes into the store with the see through, racer back tank dress on, full VPL and everything, bra showing. She thought she was the bomb. I wish I could’ve telepathically transported her this message.